Attachment is a close emotional bond between human beings. Bowlby specifically emphasized that every human is born with an innate ability to create this bond and the first year of life is especially important for bonding. When the infant’s attachment system is activated, especially when in stress, they search for proximity from the closest attachment figure, the caregiver. This proximity brings feelings of safety and security. This system remains important throughout the lifespan to build secure and healthy relationships.

Attachment is a close emotional bond between human beings

• Caregivers of secure babies protect their child when needed and create a safe environment, but also give their child space to explore the environment. They are protective but not overwhelming. They are emotionally available and give the message, “You are loved and valued.”
• Adults with a secure attachment style are more likely to have romantic relationships with high levels of trust, commitment, and satisfaction compared to adults with other attachment styles. Their self-confidence is higher. They can share their feelings with romantic partners and seek out social support when needed. Thus, it is easier for them to navigate and maintain healthy relationships.

• Caregivers with anxious babies may also become easily overwhelmed and over-protective. They can be inconsistent, meaning that they are attentive sometimes and dismissive at other times. These mixed signals may confuse the child and they may not know what kind of response they can expect from caregivers in the future.
• As an adult, individuals with anxious attachment might be preoccupied with their relationships. They may suffer from low self-esteem and feel insecure in a romantic relationship. They mostly need reassurance that they are loved since they feel fear of abandonment.

• According to Ainsworth such infants may have emotionally unavailable, distant, and insensitive attachment figures. If the infants are rejected when expressing needs and emotions and expected to become too independent, they may develop an avoidant attachment style.
• Adults with avoidant attachment can be easily uncomfortable in the face of emotional closeness, may have strict boundaries, do not generally like to open themselves and express feelings and find it difficult to lean on and trust other people. Therefore, their romantic partners may define people with avoidant attachment styles as cold and distant from time to time.

• In Ainsworth’s experience, these infants appeared disoriented. They seemed confused and inconsistent and they showed strong feelings of fearfulness around the mother. They lacked clear attachment behaviors when observing the relationship with the caregiver.
• As adults, people with fearful attachment may lack coherent behaviors in romantic relationships. Sometimes they may seem to connect and other days they may avoid proximity. Lack of trust may be a characteristic for them since they feel that abandonment and hurt are inevitable. They are also more prone to mental health problems such as substance abuse and depression.

Is it Possible to Change the Attachment Style?

In short, yes. The impact of infant attachment style through the lifespan, especially on adult relationships, is clear. On the other hand, while attachment theories emphasize this impact, the possibility of change is also mentioned. The good news is that if you have an anxious attachment style from your childhood, it does not mean that you cannot have a secure romantic relationship in your adult life.

Changing the attachment style as an adult is not easy. According to Medical News Today, increasing secure attachment bonds starts with understanding your attachment style and recognizing its behavioral signs. Other steps of changing the attachment style include observing and modeling securely attached individuals, building self-esteem, and learning how to express emotions and needs, using techniques like mindfulness and self-regulation to build stronger relationships, and lastly, therapy.

There are studies demonstrating that attachment-focused therapeutic interventions lead to the development of less fearful and more secure attachment bonds. Psychotherapy may help to understand and heal from adverse childhood experiences while providing secure ways to connect in current relationships.

Bottom Line

Attachment theory suggests that all human beings develop a specific type of attachment with their caregivers from the earliest years of life, which has an effect on their social development throughout their lifespan.

The Strange Situation experiment in 1979 built upon Bowlby’s attachment theory and proposed four main types of attachment. These are called secure, anxious, avoidant, and fearful.

While securely attached infants create trusting relationships, it is harder to do this for people with anxious, avoidant, and fearful types of attachment. Nonetheless, psychotherapy interventions focused on attachment can help such individuals to build healthy relationships even in the face of childhood adversities.